Today.

THE LEGEND OF DON CORION.

When we formed a grand coalition with Garang way back in primary school no one thought it could last. Garang’s real name was Kihato which directly translated means broom. He bore great resemblance to the revered Sudanese fighter-John Garang.He was built like a bull and by the time we were in standard six he intimidated everyone including teachers but not Mr Tinega who was the maths teacher,our class teacher and the discipline master.

Garang and I were neighbours at home and we could also boast to be friends though ours was a friendship of convenience.He was my deskmate in class and I taught him much in class in exchange for his tutorship outside class.For example to help him avoid Mr Tinega’s  cane I usually let him copy my homework in exchange for his services as my personal bodyguard.

This arrangement worked very well until the day Garang copied everything including my name.Since Tinega’s head was not a pumpkin he decided to give us the best of his six on our backsides.I was being punished for letting Garang copy my homework while Garang was being punished for being a photocopier..

The caning was usually held ceremonially infront of the whole class to serve as a lesson to others who might be tempted to fall into the same vise. When the treatment was being administered on your backside you were not  permitted to cry out loud.Crying was allowed but from the inside,you had to keep it to yourself.Despite the desire to impress everyone,especially the girls,with bravery,no one ever went through Mr Tinega’s hands without shedding a tear.Garang was an exception,no one ever saw him cry.As expected,when I received my share of the canes I shed tears.

When it was Garang’s turn he bore it bravely and he even told Mr Tinega,”thank you”,after the beating.He just went short of shaking his hands for a service well delivered.It was then that I decided I had to learn the secret behind having a tough backside.It was with that resolve that at break time I asked  Garang how he managed to have his rear tough and hard like a stone.He smiled and asked me to follow him.When we got behind the only pit latrine that served the whole school,he unfurled a whole jeans trouser from under his shorts.I could not believe that Garang,who everyone thought was stupid,could be so creative.I decided I would not only dethrone him as mr Brave but I would also step up the game.

When I got home I illegally borrowed my father’s corduroy trousers since at that age I did not own anything that could be called a trouser.In the morning I had trouble tacking it  in and up my shorts.Finally I managed though it was not an easy task.I looked like I had fattened up overnight and so I avoided anyone who could have thought of asking me any questions.I had complete faith in my ingenuity and I knew that no one would discover what I had done.

At school I was seeking to be punished and therefore made sure that I made it to the list of noisemakers.When my name which was the only name in the list that da, was handed to Mr Tinega,everybody looked at me pitifully and fearfully knowing what I was going to get.Beside the name the classs monitor had written X10 to mean that I had made noise equivalent to that of ten people.

I was called to the front of the class and I stepped forward majestically and with great pride.Today I was going to show them how real men behaved!Mr Tinega started with the usual speech,”I am going to deal with you horizontally,vertically and perpendicularly until you lie low like an envelope.”Before he could say,”inama”,I was touching my toes obediently and excitedly waiting for the  punishment to be meted out.After six strokes of the cane I STRAIGHTENED UP and with a big smile told Mr Tinega ,”thank you.”He could not believe it and he ordered me to bend again and I did so without a fuss.He whacked me  like he had never done to anyone before but I kept smiling.I stole a glance at the class and saw them look at me with admiration and I actually saw them holding back from applauding me.Then,disaster struck!!

The folded up trouser decided to misbehave.It peeped from under the shorts and before I could sneak it back up,Mr Tinega saw it.Now I was in real trouble.I was ordered to strip to my birthday suit and to give me some encouragement the cane fell on me  furiously.By the time I had undressed fully I had perfomed quite a strip dance as the cane never stopped rising and falling.Everything was out there for all to see.I was quite embarrassed as everybody laughed and pointed at my ‘mouse.’It was seeking to retreat but still a good part of it was still hanging outside.I was finally allowed to dress up and I did it faster than lightning.Everybody including Mr Tinega was laughing and Garang was the heartiest of them all.He was rolling on the floor shouting,”Don Corion,Don Corion!”I thought he meant to say Don Corleone but that did not matter.Soon the whole class joined him in shouting and chanting the name.I was spared further punishment though I knew I a lot more awaited me at home as Mr Tinega decided to keep my father’s trouser.From that day I joined Garang’s rank with a new name to show for it.Don Corion,the legend,was born.

BLACK SUPREMACY 1

I am not a black supremacist. I am neither Karl Max nor Malcolm X. Neither am I Martha Karua or Anyang Nyong’o. Having said that I would like to state that all evidence points to the black man being the original man.

In history we are taught that the remains of early man,the first man were found right here in East Africa,in Olduvai gorge. Should you visit the National Museum Of Kenya you will be greeted and entertained by a set of footprints that were lifted from Turkana. How you manage to lift footprints from anywhere is not really important. The most important thing is that the cradle of Mankind is East Africa and specifically Kenya.

There is also ample evidence to prove that other than Turkana the only other place man could have originated is Migingo island. The inhabitants of Migingo share one characteristic with those of Turkana, they are very dark or if you like it,they are blacker than all of us.

Science has proven that if two extremely black people bedded each other,it  is possible that they produce brown offsprings. The kids born can then go ahead and produce lighter children than themselves and the end product is humans of all colours,white,yellow,red and many others.

Therefore it is possible to get white from black but you cannot get black from white. The only time you can get a white from a black is by roasting the white man in a sooty kiln.

We can therefore say that the original man was black until the day humans discovered Fair and Lovely.

Since man was created in the image of God,do we have to hammer into anyone’s head that black is divine?

NEW CALENDAR.

Today is the first day of the year 2012.Truthfully speaking I will miss the year 2011.In that year I got to do most of the things that I thought I would never do.I accomplished a lot materially.For the first time in my life the year ended with me having some balance in the bank.I am thankful that the first months of the year 2012 will be bearable for me and the most important people in my life-my elderly parents.

Emotionally I wouldn’t say the year was a winner for me.I fell in love but have kept the relationship a secret to everyone.The girl blew me away when I saw her in her original surroundings when I was visiting a friend.She struck me as what I HAVE ALWAYS WANTED IN A WOMAN,original and with nothing to hide.She is beautiful and that too is a plus,natural beauty unaided by makeup.I love her but have been treading carefully.She is younger to me by more than a decade.She is also living under a roof whose owner would not be happy to hear she is in a relationship.Despite the fact that she is way over the legal limit when it comes to age she is still considered a child by her benefactors.One day I asked her what is the one thing she would NOT give away in exchange for my love and she said nothing.I then pointed out that THERE IS ONE THING she would not give away-her education.I explained to her that if her guardians decided not to pay for her education because of our love I would not be able to pay it for her.With that reality she spoke the truth,she would not sacrifice her education for me.Personally I have told her that the only thing that would make me not live with her is our opposing religious faiths.I would marry her any day but I choose to be honest and let the rest pave its own way.We will wait and see how goes matters of love this year.

Spiritually I have been in a decline throughout the year.I have gone against many things as far as my faith is concerned.Among the many rule that I have broken are the rules on dating.I am prohibited to date unless with an intention to marry,that aside it is a sin to even think of marrying a person of a different faith.I have had several  sexual encounters in the past year and bluntly put fornication is one of the biggest sins that I could ever commit.I pray that I do the correct thing this year and go through the channel set to mend my ways.

To begin the year  2012 I attended religious meetings in my place of worship.Everybody was happy to see me as I have been away for long.They only see and hear me on national media and they were happy to see that I still remember my creator.They would all like to see me make spiritual progress and I hope I will be able to overcome many challenges and walk in the way of life.In truth if I decide to walk in the way fully a lot of people will be hurt and the biggest casualty would be my lover.Oh how I WISH SHE COULD JOIN ME IN FAITH then I could be with her forever.

I thank the Almighty for carrying me through and it is my sincere prayer that I walk in the right way this year and that I may be more faithful this .I am thankful for my friends and workmates and may the new calendar bring great tidings to all of us.God bless you and for my love,I really love you and would like to be with you to the end of the century.