Today.

THE LEGEND OF DON CORION.

When we formed a grand coalition with Garang way back in primary school no one thought it could last. Garang’s real name was Kihato which directly translated means broom. He bore great resemblance to the revered Sudanese fighter-John Garang.He was built like a bull and by the time we were in standard six he intimidated everyone including teachers but not Mr Tinega who was the maths teacher,our class teacher and the discipline master.

Garang and I were neighbours at home and we could also boast to be friends though ours was a friendship of convenience.He was my deskmate in class and I taught him much in class in exchange for his tutorship outside class.For example to help him avoid Mr Tinega’s  cane I usually let him copy my homework in exchange for his services as my personal bodyguard.

This arrangement worked very well until the day Garang copied everything including my name.Since Tinega’s head was not a pumpkin he decided to give us the best of his six on our backsides.I was being punished for letting Garang copy my homework while Garang was being punished for being a photocopier..

The caning was usually held ceremonially infront of the whole class to serve as a lesson to others who might be tempted to fall into the same vise. When the treatment was being administered on your backside you were not  permitted to cry out loud.Crying was allowed but from the inside,you had to keep it to yourself.Despite the desire to impress everyone,especially the girls,with bravery,no one ever went through Mr Tinega’s hands without shedding a tear.Garang was an exception,no one ever saw him cry.As expected,when I received my share of the canes I shed tears.

When it was Garang’s turn he bore it bravely and he even told Mr Tinega,”thank you”,after the beating.He just went short of shaking his hands for a service well delivered.It was then that I decided I had to learn the secret behind having a tough backside.It was with that resolve that at break time I asked  Garang how he managed to have his rear tough and hard like a stone.He smiled and asked me to follow him.When we got behind the only pit latrine that served the whole school,he unfurled a whole jeans trouser from under his shorts.I could not believe that Garang,who everyone thought was stupid,could be so creative.I decided I would not only dethrone him as mr Brave but I would also step up the game.

When I got home I illegally borrowed my father’s corduroy trousers since at that age I did not own anything that could be called a trouser.In the morning I had trouble tacking it  in and up my shorts.Finally I managed though it was not an easy task.I looked like I had fattened up overnight and so I avoided anyone who could have thought of asking me any questions.I had complete faith in my ingenuity and I knew that no one would discover what I had done.

At school I was seeking to be punished and therefore made sure that I made it to the list of noisemakers.When my name which was the only name in the list that da, was handed to Mr Tinega,everybody looked at me pitifully and fearfully knowing what I was going to get.Beside the name the classs monitor had written X10 to mean that I had made noise equivalent to that of ten people.

I was called to the front of the class and I stepped forward majestically and with great pride.Today I was going to show them how real men behaved!Mr Tinega started with the usual speech,”I am going to deal with you horizontally,vertically and perpendicularly until you lie low like an envelope.”Before he could say,”inama”,I was touching my toes obediently and excitedly waiting for the  punishment to be meted out.After six strokes of the cane I STRAIGHTENED UP and with a big smile told Mr Tinega ,”thank you.”He could not believe it and he ordered me to bend again and I did so without a fuss.He whacked me  like he had never done to anyone before but I kept smiling.I stole a glance at the class and saw them look at me with admiration and I actually saw them holding back from applauding me.Then,disaster struck!!

The folded up trouser decided to misbehave.It peeped from under the shorts and before I could sneak it back up,Mr Tinega saw it.Now I was in real trouble.I was ordered to strip to my birthday suit and to give me some encouragement the cane fell on me  furiously.By the time I had undressed fully I had perfomed quite a strip dance as the cane never stopped rising and falling.Everything was out there for all to see.I was quite embarrassed as everybody laughed and pointed at my ‘mouse.’It was seeking to retreat but still a good part of it was still hanging outside.I was finally allowed to dress up and I did it faster than lightning.Everybody including Mr Tinega was laughing and Garang was the heartiest of them all.He was rolling on the floor shouting,”Don Corion,Don Corion!”I thought he meant to say Don Corleone but that did not matter.Soon the whole class joined him in shouting and chanting the name.I was spared further punishment though I knew I a lot more awaited me at home as Mr Tinega decided to keep my father’s trouser.From that day I joined Garang’s rank with a new name to show for it.Don Corion,the legend,was born.

BLACK SUPREMACY 1

I am not a black supremacist. I am neither Karl Max nor Malcolm X. Neither am I Martha Karua or Anyang Nyong’o. Having said that I would like to state that all evidence points to the black man being the original man.

In history we are taught that the remains of early man,the first man were found right here in East Africa,in Olduvai gorge. Should you visit the National Museum Of Kenya you will be greeted and entertained by a set of footprints that were lifted from Turkana. How you manage to lift footprints from anywhere is not really important. The most important thing is that the cradle of Mankind is East Africa and specifically Kenya.

There is also ample evidence to prove that other than Turkana the only other place man could have originated is Migingo island. The inhabitants of Migingo share one characteristic with those of Turkana, they are very dark or if you like it,they are blacker than all of us.

Science has proven that if two extremely black people bedded each other,it  is possible that they produce brown offsprings. The kids born can then go ahead and produce lighter children than themselves and the end product is humans of all colours,white,yellow,red and many others.

Therefore it is possible to get white from black but you cannot get black from white. The only time you can get a white from a black is by roasting the white man in a sooty kiln.

We can therefore say that the original man was black until the day humans discovered Fair and Lovely.

Since man was created in the image of God,do we have to hammer into anyone’s head that black is divine?

NEW CALENDAR.

Today is the first day of the year 2012.Truthfully speaking I will miss the year 2011.In that year I got to do most of the things that I thought I would never do.I accomplished a lot materially.For the first time in my life the year ended with me having some balance in the bank.I am thankful that the first months of the year 2012 will be bearable for me and the most important people in my life-my elderly parents.

Emotionally I wouldn’t say the year was a winner for me.I fell in love but have kept the relationship a secret to everyone.The girl blew me away when I saw her in her original surroundings when I was visiting a friend.She struck me as what I HAVE ALWAYS WANTED IN A WOMAN,original and with nothing to hide.She is beautiful and that too is a plus,natural beauty unaided by makeup.I love her but have been treading carefully.She is younger to me by more than a decade.She is also living under a roof whose owner would not be happy to hear she is in a relationship.Despite the fact that she is way over the legal limit when it comes to age she is still considered a child by her benefactors.One day I asked her what is the one thing she would NOT give away in exchange for my love and she said nothing.I then pointed out that THERE IS ONE THING she would not give away-her education.I explained to her that if her guardians decided not to pay for her education because of our love I would not be able to pay it for her.With that reality she spoke the truth,she would not sacrifice her education for me.Personally I have told her that the only thing that would make me not live with her is our opposing religious faiths.I would marry her any day but I choose to be honest and let the rest pave its own way.We will wait and see how goes matters of love this year.

Spiritually I have been in a decline throughout the year.I have gone against many things as far as my faith is concerned.Among the many rule that I have broken are the rules on dating.I am prohibited to date unless with an intention to marry,that aside it is a sin to even think of marrying a person of a different faith.I have had several  sexual encounters in the past year and bluntly put fornication is one of the biggest sins that I could ever commit.I pray that I do the correct thing this year and go through the channel set to mend my ways.

To begin the year  2012 I attended religious meetings in my place of worship.Everybody was happy to see me as I have been away for long.They only see and hear me on national media and they were happy to see that I still remember my creator.They would all like to see me make spiritual progress and I hope I will be able to overcome many challenges and walk in the way of life.In truth if I decide to walk in the way fully a lot of people will be hurt and the biggest casualty would be my lover.Oh how I WISH SHE COULD JOIN ME IN FAITH then I could be with her forever.

I thank the Almighty for carrying me through and it is my sincere prayer that I walk in the right way this year and that I may be more faithful this .I am thankful for my friends and workmates and may the new calendar bring great tidings to all of us.God bless you and for my love,I really love you and would like to be with you to the end of the century.

CIARA(Part 2)

For over an hour we both tossed and turned but kept to our sides of the bed.No one was talking but nobody was asleep either. The magnetism was too high. Amidst the tossing and turning our hands touched accidentally and they refused to let go. We held each other silently for a minute then slowly she drew towards me as I pulled her towards me. I cannot describe the current that coursed through my body but can only say it was electric. As she still had her back to me my hands automatically found themselves searching the twins. They found them and as the fingers did the walking, Ciara slid deeper into my embrace. She sighed and I panted as our hands were now flying all over. As we were about to partake the fruit, conscience kicked in and she said in a whispher, ”sweetheart, we cannot do this.”At this the spell was broken. W e ceased further exploration but did not let go of each other. We were both burning with desire and I told her how much I loved her and that I wanted her badly. She asked if my girlfriend had ever slept on my bed and I answered in the affirmative. She asked if I had ever told my girl that I loved her and I said yes. She then asked how I could tell two different people that I loved them and still mean it. I answered that the other was a love of convenience but what I felt for her was incomparable and I would like to spend my life with her. She said she felt the same for me but for the sake of our other lovers we should keep our emotions in check. On that note a truce was declared and we rolled to our respective sides of the bed and pretended to sleep.

The pretence did not last long and we found ourselves in each others arms again. The river banks were full and were threatening to break. We sweated profusely and panted like dogs as we fought the urge to commit the most natural act that all the systems were begging for. Ciara started to cry saying that it was her fault that my night was messed up.I told her that I would rather have messed up nights with her than silent ones with anyone else. She said that she regretted that we were suffering so much just because we cared about people who would never even know whatever happened between us. We kept talking for some time and somehow that cooled the fires. She slept in my arms and I grabbed a wink but the next time I woke up, her mouth was on my mouth and our hands were busy exploring all the curves they could find. I found my tongue and said, ”sorry for loving you and for wanting you but I cannot fight anymore.”She said, ”baby, do not talk, let the deed be done.”We were now in our birthday suits and just as I was about to enter the confines of her womanhood there was a clap of thunder like I had never heard before. It happened  twice again and in quick succession and was quickly followed by yells that haunt me to this day. Apparently cats were mating outside and the thunder had also caught them in the throes of their passion. As heavy rain started falling I do not know who let go first but the unspoken words between us were, ”the Gods had spoken.”The forbidden fruit was not ours for the taking. We lay side by side. It was morning, we looked at each other and smiled. I knew I loved her and she knew she loved me, but what to do? Only time would tell. We kept smiling. We were naked and we had won.

CIARA(Part 1)

CIARA

I had got myself a new phone and had not transferred all the contacts from the old phone. When I received the message from an unknown number I was not surprised. The message was a single word, ”Hey!”.I sent a text back saying, ”please send me your name because I lost my phonebook.”The message that came back was also one word, ”CIARA.”My heart skipped a beat. This is one girl I had known for a while and we had kept correspondence though we never got to see each other face to face oftenly.

I called immediately and explained to the sweet soul on the other end why I didn’t have her number. I inquired how busy she was and she said she had just come home for recess and she had no plans. I suggested that I would like to host her for the weekend. When she agreed I thought she was joking and it dawned on me that she was serious when I met her in town that evening ready to take her home with me. If she would have looked keenly she would have noticed  that I kept pinching myself just to make sure I was not asleep and dreaming.

We bought food for supper and took it away with us. We got into a bus and headed home, to my bachelor pad.

On getting to the bachelor pad it was all ceremony. I welcomed her the way a butler would welcome a regular client who tips him handsomely. Hands outstretched and bowing to my knees I said, ”welcome home.”She gracefully acknowledged my invitation and she got into the pad. I only have two seats in my crib-a one-sitter and a two-sitter. When she chose to sit on the two-sitter I saw that as a welcome sign to sit beside her but I did not. I went to the kitchenette and brought utensils to use for the supper and sat on the other sit. Truth is I wanted to sit there and take in her whole beauty as we ate.

Our minds were clearly not on the food so we were done as soon as we had started. We were soon talking about relationships we both had been in in our lives. It was a baring of souls of some sorts. We talked of past relationships and finally got to our current status. When she inquired why I was not married at my age I gave several reasons among them the fact that I was still looking for the perfect match. She said she thought I chose not marry because, ”I loved drama!”I disagreed but she insisted that I should get someone to live with and if I was too busy she would get someone for me. I reiterated that I had no problem with her getting a girl for me as long as that girl was her. When she saw the seriousness in my eyes and heard it in my voice she asked me why I had never told her that for all the time I had known her. I told her it was because I had known she was in a relationship and had therefore chosen to hurt from the inside. When she started saying the relationship I had suspected had faded out I felt some flicker of hope but she added she was now dating someone else.

At that point I excused myself to go take a bath. I now felt fresh and asked her if she needed a bath too but she declined. It was then that I announced it was time to sleep. She asked for something to change into and I gave her one of my t-shirts. She proceeded to change right infront of me and as she did so I saw a set of twins pop out, firm and as erect as soldiers mounting a guard of honour ready for inspection. I felt like grabbing them and not letting go.I proceeded to the bed and she followed suit. I had changed the sheets to  clean white ones. She lay beside me and we talked. We talked of love and nothing else. We both lamented how sad it was that we were both in love with other people and it would be considered an act of betrayal  even to be found sharing a bed. We were in consensus not to do anything that would hurt the other parties if they ever came to know. I pointed out that I was greatly tempted to kiss her good night but if I did then it would be hard for me to stop. We therefore bade each other good night, verbally. I put off the lights and one of the most torturous nights I have ever had had just began.

LEVITATION.

There was a time I used to consider myself religious.Then,I used to love my liquor and didn't give a hoot about women.Now I dont love my liquor as much and care more about the ladies.Am also not as religious as I used to be.I fear that sometimes I reason like an atheist.I believe in what my religion teaches.It teaches that you cannot sit on the fence.You are either for or against.There are many things I should be doing and am not .That makes me a sinner and a hypocrite.My religion remains mine for now.